Nobody is getting hurt…again.

You are alone again.¬† You like it that way.¬† Less muss, less fuss.¬† Fewer distractions, less demands on your time.¬† You value your free time, time to do the things YOU want to do, right?¬† Problem is, you want to surf the Internet for pornography.¬† It started simple enough.¬† Just swimsuits, alluring models in skimpy clothes.¬† No biggy.¬† Then it was those celebrity “fan sites” with half-dressed celebs being drunk and provocative.¬† Man, ain’t those paparazzi the greatest!¬† Then you moved on to lingerie. Maybe a Victoria’s Secret catalog that came in the mail by accident.¬† No harm there, just a little skin, right?¬† Pretty soon, though, things go from bad to worse.¬† At first it was just “art appreciation.”¬† Fine photography revealing the human form.¬† No harm in that, right?¬† Besides, if those girls didn’t want to be looked at, they wouldn’t have posed for the pictures, right?¬
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Then, just like with alcohol and drugs, you start needing harder stuff to get a buzz.¬† It’s a daisy-chain of addiction, one site leading to another to another, each link taking you deeper and deeper into darkness.¬† Over time you find yourself going places no man should ever go, looking at things no man should ever see.

You have it all worked out in your head, have all your excuses and justifications lined up like bullets in an ammunition clip, ready to be fired off on full auto if your conscience ever tries to rise up and suggest that your lifestyle might not be the healthiest, your moral choices not the most sound.¬† I mean, after all, they’re just pictures, right? What’s the big deal? Nobody is getting hurt, right?

How many of us out there have used these excuses ourselves at some point?¬† Whether it’s our online poker habit, the slots at the Indian Reservation, our drinking, shoplifting, or pornography, the excuses all end up sounding pretty much the same.¬† It’s just a few beers, right?¬† It’s not like I’m drinking the hard stuff.

I’m not spending THAT much at the mall every week, right?¬† And besides, it was on SALE!

No, really. This will be the LAST time I hit the Blackjack tables, just until I can earn back the money I lost last week…

No matter how wrapped up in it we get, no matter how many chains we bind ourselves with, no matter how many other areas of our life we sacrifice to our addictions, we always somehow manage to clear the air by insisting that, hey, what’s the big deal? Nobody is getting hurt.

But it’s both a truth, AND a lie.

Because, you see, someone IS getting hurt. YOU.¬† YOU are getting hurt.¬† You are harming yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.¬† You’re relationships are suffering, what few you might actually have left.¬† You’ve withdrawn from the world, slowly cutting off family, shutting out friends.¬† When you let yourself become a slave to these compulsions, these addictions, you are bringing the promise of ruin and pain into your life.

So when you say that “nobody” is getting hurt, what you’re really doing is calling yourself a nobody.¬† You are saying that you don’t matter, that it’s okay for you to get hurt.¬† Oh sure, you’d never intentionally hurt anyone else.¬† THEM you care about.¬† You?¬† Eh, it’s okay if YOU get hurt.¬† No big deal.¬† You’re just a nobody.¬† Nobody cares about me, really, so why should I care about myself?

And the really tragic thing?  Somewhere, somewhere deep down inside, you might actually believe it, too. 

Because, truth is? You don’t really believe all those excuses you’re so good at making.¬† You don’t really think it’s no big deal.¬† You know it’s wrong, but because you’re an addict, you won’t…or can’t….stop.¬† The guilt is tearing you apart inside, but instead of dealing with the guilt, you medicate the pain.¬† With your addiction.¬† You “use” to feel good, even for a little bit, to escape the pain you feel.¬† But you still know, somewhere down inside, that it’s wrong.¬† And so you feel guilty, ashamed.¬† Swear you’ll quit.¬† But you can’t.¬† So you drink to escape the guilt that’s driving you to drink.¬† It’s a vicious cycle that is tearing you apart and robbing you of health, life, and love.

So, let’s be honest here.¬† Someone IS getting hurt. You.¬† But it’s not “only” you, either.¬† Maybe you’ve never punched anyone, never screamed or yelled, never “abused” or hurt someone.¬† Maybe you’ve never hit anyone with your car while driving drunk, or never forced a young runaway girl to pose nude for a website to pay for the drugs you got her hooked on; but not all hurts leave scars you can see.¬† You’re hurting your wife, your girlfriend, your parents, your kids.¬† Your co-workers, your friends.¬† People who want to know you, who want you to chose THEM over the porn, or the poker, or the alcohol.¬† They are hurting, feeling the pain of rejection, of abandonment, of self-doubt.¬† Even if you never lift a finger farther than it takes to click a mouse button, you are still hurting people.¬† You are passing on a legacy of hurts that they will carry with them throughout the rest of their life.¬†

So don’t believe the lies.¬† Stop telling yourself that nobody is getting hurt.¬† You’re not a nobody.¬† You are somebody, somebody who God wants to know Him, to find in HIM the healing, the love, the acceptance that maybe you don’t think you deserve, or will ever find.¬† God wants to give you His love, whether you deserve it or not.¬† As a matter of fact, the less you “deserve” it, the MORE He wants to give it to you!

Jesus *said to them, “{It is} not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matt 2:17 NASB)

And understand that you can’t fight this alone. Trust in God, and He will bring people into your life that can help you find healing, help bring restoration and connection and wholeness where you’ve allowed your addiction to cause brokenness, destruction and pain.

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.  (1 Cr 10:13 NASB)

Stop hurting yourself.¬† Stop hurting those around you.¬† Stop telling the lies that no one…not even you…believe anymore.¬† It won’t be easy; but with the help of God, it doesn’t have to be impossible either.¬†

 

Here’s¬†are some¬†recommended resources for those struggling with addiction, especially sexually-based addictions:

http://www.13waystoruinyourlife.com/

http://www.pornaddicthubby.com/

Trapped in Temptation
http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/CBNTeachingSheets/Pornography.aspx

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2 Responses to Nobody is getting hurt…again.

  1. Michelle says:

    I am very impressed with your blog and how much time you have put into making it speak God’s Word. I just released my blog http://awalkoffaith.wordpress.com and am excited about how God will use it to transform the hearts of men and women who are hungry for the Word and are ready to walk with Him. It would mean the world to me if you could check out my blog and share it with those around you.

    God bless and thank you for taking the time to look at my blog.
    Michelle Jensen

    P.S.
    Do you have any prayer requests for your blog?

  2. Steve Berven says:

    I’ll check it out!

    And yes, I do have a prayer request. I’m trying to decide on a new domain name for my site. I’ve been praying about what God wants. Haven’t got an answer yet.

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